WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I smell like Dick and happiness
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize