I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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