You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They should really pass out barf bags in church
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
