I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
