her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
