he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
