I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.