In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑