Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
