Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.