Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
reminds me of losing my job
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.