I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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