i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
