You're my little dorito
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
