I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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