The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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