I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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