there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
