ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
as a side note pls kill me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
