I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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