Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drake has all the answers
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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