What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
