How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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