I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
