the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
