i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
