and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
