i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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