you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I want her autograph on my taint
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
