There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
