Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
