Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize