You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
