is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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