i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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