That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
