ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize