i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
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This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i think i just lost a toe
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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