This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
