Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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