My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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