You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
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He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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