Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
