had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
