whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize