I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
