I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
