no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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