life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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