i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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