I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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