Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize