Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
