Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites