3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer