So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were trust falling into bushes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night