I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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