Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
