I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
