I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
