I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
