I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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