You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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