all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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