Do you still have your period?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
