I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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