dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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