Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
